This past September marked my six-year mark on hormones, which have gone through various iterations since their beginning. When I first started taking testosterone I was on a full dose; here in the United States, that’s 100mg/ML every week. I was also taking some sort of estrogen blocker, which was prescribed by my doctor at the time to prevent any effects should my testosterone suddenly start converting into estrogen. I eventually went off of this blocker, since I didn’t see the point in taking one more pill for something that was only a remote possibility.
About three years into taking hormones I started fiddling with my dose, dropping it from 100mg/mL to 200mg/mL twice per month, and eventually down to a half dose of 100mg/mL twice per month. However, I experienced various mental health concerns, and have since gone back to self-injecting testosterone intramuscularly every week. That
I miss this bottle. It could last me around a year if I was lucky. Alas, testosterone is considered a “controlled substance” as it is a steroid, and now I’ve got these piddly little 200mg/ML bottles as big as the last phalanx on my pinky finger. Sigh.
being said, my dose is currently at 25mg/mL per week–or for those of you who are good at math, a one-fourth dose for the “average” AFAB (assigned female at birth) trans person. At one point I was taking 50mg/ML every week due to my syringes and hormone concentration changing without my knowledge, but I’ve since corrected it back down to 25mg/ML.
I never felt comfortable being on the “standard” dose for trans men, mostly because I never identified as such. If I’d been thinking I probably would have started at a half or quarter dose of testosterone, and then just gone off of hormones when I’d achieved my desired effects. Now, over six years later, I’m saddled with more body hair than I know what to do with, and I seriously question the point of continuing with hormones for the sole purpose of ceasing menstruation. It’s similar, in my mine, to ceasing a prescription of psychotropic drugs: sometimes you get used to how you feel on the drug, and so one stops taking them because they think they’re “cured”, but in reality the reason you might feel better is because of the medication. (Which is, of course, not always the case for folks taking medications, but I digress.)
The reality is that more than anything, I never anticipated being on hormones for over three years, much less six,; as I turn into what seems a vertiable fur suit of sweaty, oily, and overall undesired masculinity I long for the day when I can stop putting off my hormone shot as long as I can every week. I wish my options for ceasing menstruation did not rest on methods which would have me take hormones indefinitely, whether through testosterone alone or some other combination due to a lack of ovaries. I’ve said it before in other posts, I’d rather have an even mix of masculinizing and feminizing hormones–whatever that might look like in a healthy body. I just hope in another six years I’ll have seen these dreams realized.